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Writer's pictureTracy Alexander

How to know when you love yourself.

Don't wait for the rest of the world to change in order for you to feel different.

There is a lot of self-reflection and soul searching going on in the collective. There are a lot of people asking “who are we?" and "how do we love ourselves and each other better?”. A recalibration is happening... but in order to truly come to a clear place - we need time to rest, recover and return to self. There's a lot of that going on in Israel, where I live right now - and I find myself needing more time alone to digest it all.

I think that’s what we all need.

Some space to be be wrapped up and held.

To turn down the intensity outside and return to peace inside.

Maharishi Mahesh Yogi used to say that the way to contribute to world peace is to meditate. I agree. Meditation helps us come home to ourselves. When we feel at home inside - when we feel safe and resourced - when we remove stress and can feel calm and focused and clear - we show up so much better for others. It starts inside our own skin, it moves into our families, homes and workplaces, the people we interact with on the street... When you love yourself, you are a valuable asset to society. Your positive sphere of influence expands. People want to be around you - they want to absorb your energy - to be fuelled by you - because you're full and overflowing... You bring a kind heart, a clear mind to the world. Meditation helps us feel LOVE. Every time we meditate with Vedic Meditation we experience BLISS. The Bliss of knowing who and what we are. This is the seed for the cultivation of Self-Love. Self-love is the beginning of finding liberation in life. Vedic Meditation was the key to freedom along my own personal healing journey. It helped me move from self-loathing to self-love... in a way that I am now dedicated to spreading this gift as far and wide as it can go. Self-love is the biggest gift we can give the world. Along the way, I've learned a thing or two about love... and I'd love to share a few reminders so that we can start to notice where we can bring MORE love to ourselves... and therefore - help strengthen the collective. LOVE OF SELF

  • We can only feel loved by others when we love ourselves. Otherwise others’ love can't reach you. You won't be able to fully absorb the feeling. To truly feel the love of another - you need to have first decided that you're loveable - which means you need to know what loving yourself feels like. All of you. Not just the parts you've decided are "good". Love means loving ALL of you - because we are all works in progress.

  • Whenever I’m pretending to be something I'm not… that’s when I know I’ve stopped loving myself. When I’m trying to be too perfect… when I’m judging myself for having feelings of intolerance and impatience towards others (meditation teachers shouldn't be having those thoughts, tut tut!)… when I’m getting upset with myself for not being “a good person” with “pure thoughts” all the time… I’m pretending that I’m not a full, dynamic, normal human. It shows I've forgotten the totality of who I am.

  • When I’m masking my feelings, those are the times I’ve lost touch with love. Love is not being experienced when I am ignoring, self-abandoning, judging, running, shunning. Love stays, listens, holds, seeks to understand, allows.

  • When I’m feeling confused by others’ behaviour… it means I’ve forgotten how to love the parts of me that are still ignorant, unhealed and messy. When I do the practices which allow me to love all of myself, this helps me love others for their ignorance and messiness better. At least - I try to do this. When I’m tired or stressed - I’m not very good at it.

  • Love doesn’t mean I need to endorse all behaviour - but love helps me release my own fire and hurt. It helps me understand myself and others better - because I remember - we’re all ignorant, unhealed and messy in our own ways.

  • Love is awe - for how creative, smart, talented, gifted, beautiful, kind and intelligent we are. Love is when we take care of ourselves and each other. Love is dance and nature and being awake to the brilliance of life and ourselves.

NOW WHAT?

What to do when you realise you're forgetting love -

  • Rest.

  • Meditate.

  • Check in with the parts of life that are dragging on you and making it harder to show up fully.

  • Enquire about what you're ignoring in the conclusions you've drawn about yourself and life.

If you're wanting to deepen your connection with yourself... If you're done with the self-loathing and would like to trade in your suffering for freedom... I am here to help you.

No matter where you are - reach out and let’s do some stress management and nervous system regulation work together. Removing stress is the first step to coming home to yourself. BELIEVE ME. I have done the work myself. There is no getting around it. My 1:1 mentoring program is a very special way of getting you back into the seat of your power.

I’d love that for you - and selfishly - for me too. Because it is my greater privilege to do this work and help you find more ease.

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